At what point do things become so difficult?

Yesterday we enjoyed the afternoon at Lynnhurst Park. The weather was beautiful and the kids and parents were on a high. I stood in the middle of the playground holding Myles (two weeks old) and keeping my eye on Max, while Chad chased the fearless Aidan. Max approached a teeter-totter, which was occupied by a mother and her 5 year old son (Her husband was on the bench checking his blackberry. I later learned that he is employed at Target). The two of them were having a riot "accelerating" as he called it. As Max got closer the Mom slowed down and explained to her son how she didn't want to scare him. I was w/in 10 feet and kept calling for Max, but he wasn't responding. The 5 year old suddenly said, "just come over here and get him already!"

His Mother and I shared a glance of both awe and envy. Kids are so pure and simple, along with brutally honest.

That night I was thinking of the wise 5 year old on the teeter-totter and I tried to pin-point when life becomes so difficult. Is it when you leave the house for the first day of school, when you get your license, when you become 18 and move away from home? Or does it stem from day 1, when you become a sponge?

Life needn't be so complicated. Thank you to the 5 year old at the park! My new goal is to keep it simple and I'll start by not over-analyzing matters (ironic, I know).

We've been adjusting to our new life for two weeks now. It gets easier day by day. Still a lot of work, but you won't hear me complaining. This is how it is, this is how what we wanted, this is what we love.

In the midst of the "organized" chaos I found a quiet moment w/ Myles. I actually find many quiet moments w/ him since in our family we decided to divide and conquer. Chad cares for the twins, while I care for the newborn. Split down the middle until I'm fully recovered and don't have any restrictions.

During that quiet moment I found myself singing to Myles. Actually singing! It was my version of Your Song by Sir Elton John. When I realized what I was doing I enjoyed it even more. Because I have to analyze everything, and yes I waited until this moment had passed, I started thinking about mothering the twins when they were his age. I couldn't pinpoint a quiet moment with them, where I was leisurely singing to them. I sang to them, but in a different tone. It was to either cheer them up, or get them to fall back asleep. It was a song of survival and hope. Sink or swim.

I equally love my three sons and I am eternally thankful. I am also thankful that I've been blessed with one baby this time!

mbp

3.13.10

One of the best days of my life. A new creation made by man and woman....Myles Beck Peterson. Perfectly healthy, perfectly happy!

I have to admit, I was worried about having enough love for one more son. But that doubt disappeared the moment I heard him cry. My heart swelled like a balloon and tears of joy streamed from my face. Then I saw him and my heart melted. I am fulfilled and complete. I have so much love for him and a very strong bond.

I am already dreading the day I have to drop him off at college.

All my love sweet Myles!

Easy or Wrong?

I asked Chad if he wanted to play Scrabble tonight. He was interested, then asked how are we going to play. Meaning, are we going to play the old-school way on our turn-table scrabble board, or are we going to play electronically? He said, "if we play electronically we don't have to tally our score."

Done.

Sometimes in life you need to take the easy route, which isn't my strength at all. But it feels good and I now understand that it's okay to take that route. I'm sure I'll face similar situations throughout parenthood. Like tomorrow, when I face the twins and Little Einstein. It's okay Becky....you can put your feet up for 25 minutes while they are educated by electronics.